Vishal Biyani

03 May 2020

How to do parenting?

This is a copy of the Tweetstrom I did on the podcast episode about parenting on Bharatvaarta with Dr. Bhooshan Shukla as guest.

Podcast Episode:


This is such a gem of a podcast episode on parenting by @docbhooshan. As a father of a preschooler, I learned quite a few things. My notes from the podcast thread 110

  • Modern parents often say we should not expect much from kids - which is not entirely right. Parents should expect good behavior, they should expect good actions. Then let go and don’t worry about the results. कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन! 210

  • Be friendly with kids, but stop trying to be their friends. Let them find their own friends in school/college etc. so they can build their own world around them. Making kids responsible adults as early as possible should is the right way of raising.

  • Early in age - let them learn by making mistakes, by failing, etc. - it is the cheapest way to grow by experimenting. Parents often amplify the fear of making mistakes - but life may not work that way.

  • Kids do what their parents do, it hardly matters what the parents say. Also beyond age, the outside world shapes them more than parents.

  • Late parents are generally more mature at handling kids based on research done in South Europe & America - but the temperament has to be right. Many Indian parents are anxious and that reflects in kids and in growing. Do your best - the world is the best place to learn/improvise and best teacher.

  • Every generation is evolving and becoming better than the previous one. They may not be the same as you and that’s why it is called progress. Put everything in that context.

  • People often expect their kids to become “superstars” at what they do. But can’t just “make” it. Even Sachin Tendulkar’s parents have one Sachin, though they have two kids! Play with your kids for 2 hours, but don’t attach expectations especially “superstar” prematurely!

  • Not everyone will find their “passion” at an early age. Everyone is different and some find it early, some late and some may not find it ever. It’s ok not to find a passion!

  • Happiness comes from a sense of purpose, which comes from discipline. Indian parents confuse obedience to discipline. Kids should be taught discipline & self-reliance as early as you can.